Red State Ramblings

A very common scenario: wife wants to move out of California, husband does not… and vice versa. Here are three reasons it’s all going to be ok. I promise.

1. God Controls Your Future.

No matter what your reasons are for wanting to move and what your spouse’s are for not, GOD is the One Who will have the final say in the matter. He always does. If you believe in your heart of hearts that moving is the best thing for your family, but your spouse does not, it’s imperative that you remember God is the One in charge. Don’t turn your spouse into the enemy. It may just take time for them to want to leave or, it may be that God is calling you to stay. In either case, He is going to have His perfect way in your life so there is no point in freaking out! Try to make your feelings known in a clear, concise way without becoming emotional or making a move the topic of every conversation.

“Refrain from anger and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.”

Psalm 37:8

2. Marriage is a Gift.

No matter where you live, being married (assuming you are not married to an abusive person) is an undeserved gift. If you’re in a situation where you vehemently disagree about the decision to move, make it a point to remember all of the wonderful reasons you love and respect your spouse. Whether you move or whether you stay, your marriage will be with you wherever you go, so place it in its proper perspective and be thankful, no matter where you call home. And remember, your kids are watching.

(If you’re struggling to see marriage as a gift or if you need some clarity on God’s design for marriage, I highly recommend this blog series and accompanying book by Alistair Begg: https://blog.truthforlife.org/how-to-avoid-marital-failure.)

3. People Change.

We have heard this story time and time again… One spouse really wanted to move. The other was completely opposed to the idea and then ended up doing a complete turnaround and became the more passionate one about the move! On the other hand, we have also heard plenty of stories of people who really wanted to leave, but who God called and equipped to remain content and faithful, happily married in their blue state. Whatever your case, God has the power “to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20) so lift your cares up to Him. He will either change your heart or your spouse’s heart. The prayer to be unified in marriage is a prayer God honors.

Remember, you don’t need to protect yourself from God’s revealed plan for you in His Word. (And God HAS revealed His plan for marriage in His Word so don’t forget your role.) God’s plan IS the protection for your life, not what your favorite political commentator said last week!

And on that note, if trying to follow the Lord in marriage is becoming more difficult because of outside forces, it may be a good idea to take a break from those so you can live a happy, peaceful life in your marriage.

All of Our Eggs ~ One Basket

Don’t be afraid to put all of your eggs in one basket. (And the basket shouldn’t be red or blue!) Cities, states and governments will all pass away but God’s Word never fails.

“Every Word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.”

Proverbs 30:5

We can have full, complete joy, rest and peace, RIGHT NOW, because of what Jesus has accomplished for us. Moving can do many wonderful things, but moving can never do what our Savior has already done. It can never rid our family of sin. It cannot create a utopia. It is a decision made by weak, fallen people trusting a big, sovereign God Who makes no mistakes. Your address and my address was hand picked by Him for a set number of days to fulfill specific purposes and at a certain point that address will change. When it does, we will want to be able to look back and praise God for His goodness to us in it, so may we start looking for that goodness now, resting in His promises, which are true forever no matter where in the world we live.